I am a true overly organized, anal, perfectionist at heart. I am a planner, color coder, time blocker, and alphabetizer. I have been known to be a juggler of responsibilities and commitments with ease. I hold tightly to things, because I want them to be completed the best way they can be done. I stick to cleaning schedules, time schedules and my makeup bag is organized into smaller bags and color themes.
Although, to be honest, I really haven't used that bag much since 2020, except for the lip gloss. I wear lip gloss like I wear underwear. That's continuously for those who may be questioning.
In the fall of 2022, something happened. I made the choice to pursue a second masters degree. While working a full time job job, having a family, maintaining relationships with others, living out my inner clean freak, and being PTA treasurer (I don't even know HOW that happened) this time management queen knew that adding grad school to the mix meant I had to let some things go for a year and half while completing the degree..
So I did. Letting go is hard, but necessary.
I see my friends less these days, but make our interactions meaningful and focused when they do occur.
I have had to say no to some offered opportunities that I really would have enjoyed.
My bathroom has not been cleaned in weeks! This is NOT an exaggeration.
And, my neatly organized bag of lip glosses, well let's just say there is one tube in there and the rest are scattered ALL OVER the place.
Sometimes we have to learn to let it go.
Maybe you are holding tightly to a situation that you feel the need to control.
Maybe you are holding tightly to a relationship you need to let go.
Maybe you are holding tightly to a commitment on your calendar you need to walk away from to make space for something new God has for you.
Maybe you are holding tightly to an idea that you need to let go, because it does not align with God's vision for the way we should live our lives.
Letting go and handing our lives over to God can take a lot of trust on our part. However, when we relinquish control over to God, we live into the plans and vision God has for us.
It is hard to feel like I am not in control especially when I walk through the crazy scene that is my current living situation, or the long days where it feels I am never going to meet all my deadlines. However, during the most random of moments I will open a bag or pull out a drawer and see a sparkling tube of lip gloss. I smile, and obviously I reapply.
That is the thing about surrendering over to God. It can sometimes feel chaotic or scary, but then you catch a little shimmer of a blessing, a direction, a Word from God and you are reminded just how glamorous life is when God is the one applying the plans.
"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!" (Isaiah 26:3).